SIGNS YOU HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM
You lose arguments with inmate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
Career won't progress beyond senator from Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day; 24 beers in a case.....coincidence??? I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth....now That's a drinking problem
When you can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
Every woman you see has an exact twin.
You fall off the floor...
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger....forget dinner.
The glass keeps missing your mouth.
Vampires catch a buzz after attacking you (also mosquitoes).
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed, hmm.
The whole bar says "Hi" when you come in.
You think the four basic food groups are caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, and women/men.
Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
Hi ocifer.....I'm not under the affluence of incohol.
I'm not drunk... you're just sober...HI OCIFER!!!
Don't recognize wife unless seen through the bottom of a glass.
That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their hands when they walk past you.
You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
You wake up in Korea in August and the last thing you remember is the Fourth of July party at the Halekulani in Waikiki.
When hangovers become an attractive alternative lifestyle.
Beertender git me another bar!!!