WHEN WE JUST CAN'T STOP
THE MARKS OF AN ADDICTION
Those who work with people caught in addictions identify at least five telltale signs, which when found together indicate the presence of an enslaving, destructive dependency.
1. Absorbing Focus. All addictions consume time, thought, and energy. They are not mere pastimes. They are obsessions and preoccupations that demand more and more from us.
2. Increasing Tolerance. The pattern of diminishing returns is also common. We need increasing amounts to maintain the same effect. Drug addicts need more crack to get the same high. Alcoholics need more alcohol to maintain the "buzz" that came so easily at first. The sex addict moves from soft--to hard-core pornography, or from normal marital relations to socially and biblically forbidden encounters.
3. Growing Denial. To protect the sacred moments of our pleasure, we deny that our "interest" is ruining us. Because there is so much to lose, we hide from others the extent of our enslavement. We convince ourselves that we can stop whenever we want. We learn to live in two worlds at the same time. We even believe our own stories. We become accomplished actors in front of others because of our fear of being found out.
4. Damaging Consequences. There is no such thing as a harmless addiction. All addictions are destructive to ourselves and those we love. Directly or indirectly, our obsessions can destroy our family and our friendships. We can lose our job, our health, our self-respect, and our reputation. Addictions are enslaving, destructive, dependencies. They destroy our capacity for self-control and our ability to know and enjoy the God who has made us for Himself.
5. Painful Withdrawal. Anything we habitually use to give us an artificial sense of well-being results in pain when it's taken away. Angry outbursts, agitation, anxiety, panic attacks, tremors, and depression are all costs of withdrawal. When deprived of our addiction, we are likely to feel that we have lost something essential to our survival.
In light of such painful results, we might wonder why we are so willing to become dependent of self-destructive ways of thinking and acting.